What Writing My First Book Taught Me

For writers

This post is for the writers who won’t admit they are writers, and the writers that are about to take the plunge, and for any writer who has ever been singed and thought it best to walk away.

Turns out I am rather naive about somethings and that has served me pretty well in agreeing to write my first book; it kept hope alive, when the inevitable going got rough. There is a reason we call it a creative spark and not a fire. When the idea comes we catch it, shelter it, ignite it and feed it into a long burning-flame.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers

BY EMILY DICKINSON

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.

Two-winged birds

There were two moments, two phone calls that mark the arc of my book writing journey. One I have referenced, many many times, and wrote about it in the book. It’s when the call came from the publisher with an invitation to write.

You can listen to it

Or read it.

The other was in the parking lot of Ebru Coffee shop, with impeccable lattes and avocado toast, where a new acquaintance from her radio show asked me what my marketing plan was for the book.

“I don’t have one,” I answered honestly and nonchalantly. I was looking out the car window deciding on if I had enough time to catch a quick walk before picking up my son from school, and relishing in the chapter advancement I had just finished at the coffee shop. The sky was bright blue and I told her, “and I don’t care honestly, I haven’t even finished the book yet.”

“Well, you’re gonna care,” she responded like only an East Coaster can.

These two conversations were the two wings that carried my book from thought to form. One wing was hopelessly romantic and enthusiastic about a bucket-list dream coming true; the other wing, newly grown, realized the this endeavor was like all of life and if I wasn’t navigating the flight track no one else was going to.

That is why I tell everyone who asks me about my first book the same key points:

First: Write what you love

Especially for the first book. I know so many people have fallen in love with ChatGPT and there is such a fabulous tool to utilize. For me, it could, if not rooted, make you miss the chance to write what no one knows they need yet. Instead of outsourcing your inspiration, you could in-source. You could write from your intuition, from your hunch, from your love, from your want and watch it take flight.

I don’t think that is what everyone needs.

That is why I it is important, I believe, especially for your first book, to write what you love and what you can handle.

Your first book doesn’t have to be your last, and there are things you will learn there that must happen before you can birth other works. Trust me on this one. The other day I walked through the library stacks looking at prominent author’s first works; the ones that laid the groundwork for what would come after.

I wrote a book compiling 10 amazing people relaying on their resilience and intuition before the world changed. It came out when people were looking for inspiration on how to create a new life in the midst of chaos. I didn’t exactly know what I was doing mind you, and it was not the easiest time in my life, writing while the world was shut down, writing around nap times, writing at dining room table which was decidedly not the mountain retreat I had envisioned my first book being penned, but that doesn't matter, because that was the time of my author-ship birth, which was marvelous and slightly disappointing if I am honest. Which, is why I take refuge in that I wrote what was compelled inside of me. I wrote past difficulty and I was granted wisdom in return.

🔗📚 Read Rebirth

Second: Make a plan

Love is grand, but a relationship needs some sort of plan. Book writing is a relationship. It is a birth. It is a lot of things. Often times when I work with first-time authors they feel the need to shoe-horn every idea into their first work.

This was something being an English teacher, writing years of Essential Questions and core thematic development taught me. That it, that a well written book can drive home one or two main thoughts, and that the theme needs to be tactfully braided through the work like stepping stones to lead the reader on. I also learned, from teaching hundreds and maybe thousands, of readers, that no matter what the author writes, the reader will have their own interpretation of the work — so let them. Create tight structure so all readers inevitably walk the same path, but create enough space for their own experience.

As an author you do this through writing and rewriting and tracking your arc development. The best thing I ever heard another writer say, was when Cheryl Strayed cautioned: “You cannot write on the steam of what happened.”

You know how a kid will tell a story strung on “and then, and then, and then.’” It’s not how to write a book. As Cheryl says, “No one cares that much.” It’s true. We have our own stories, so make room for that connection in yours.

Write when you want and write all you want, and make sure depending upon your style, you make a plan or hire someone to do it with you when you are ready to take your precious work out in the world, ensuring that your gold can be found.

Third: Give it all you’ve got

There is a lot about book writing you can do and re-do before it is published but not so much after. There is a very real window of opportunity and I encourage you to give it absolutely all you have got. Your deserves that from you.

Wisdom on the other side of publishing aka What I would do differently

I would have included myself more. I can see now, how writing my first book was a threshold for me in taking up space. In allowing the light to shine on me.

What do I mean?

Well, what I don’t mean is an egocentric me, what I mean is a fully developed voice of my own perspective. My first book has traces of proving the validity of the story. English majors will probably get it. We are trained to seek out and share validity and proof in what we are sharing, you know the 5 paragraph essay that was taught to all of us, we all had to find our sources. In retrospect, I could see that the book had an echo of that in an honest effort to remain true to the integrity of Other.

“You have to just, put yourself in there,” my friend and retired journalist said.

“I did, but they are their stories, their interviews, I can’t just cut them up,” I squeaked into the phone.

“Yes, you can, because the only reason someone is hearing these stories is because you are writing them.”

It is the truth friend. The only reason someone will learn of the wisdom that you write (whether in prose, in comedy, in nonfiction, in screenplay, in whatever you are doing) is because you have written it.

The sooner an author realizes this, the sooner she can make room simultaneously for the two-winged bird of saying what she wants to say, and sharing what she loves while also zipping through the air advocating for her book, her worth and her prominent place on the shelf (which in authorship is a good thing!)

I often help writers get out of their stories and create space for the reader. In arc consultations, I help writers see the place to pull back or flesh out the idea so the reader can come along. When it came time for me, I had to bring more of my Self in. That was actually a major rewrite of the book. I had to pull the initial thread and re-do each chapter with a new stucturing. That's the beauty of being creative, it grows us each in the way we need.

One of the gifts of Rebirth, is that as I wrote others stories my own was illuminated. This is not the goal of all stores, of course, a good novelist disappears entirely, but I suspect that for many of us to sift through the pieces of memory and place them in a full spectrum context is profound and often untapped medicine. It doesn’t have to be published to be powerful by the way. Your story only needs a witness.

I will end on one of the sweetest moments of publishing though, was walking into our local bookstore and my son walking up to the counter and saying, “I want to buy my Mom’s book.” That was the most important literary approval stamp I have received to date. We went to the French Bakery afterwards to celebrate.

Today, so ripe with creativity, celebrate your story in some way. Welcome the muse and the impulse to create — it is why we are here. As a bird sings with every dawn, so do you.

To Inspiration,

Kate

🔗A song.