It’s the Equinox today and in honoring the turning of the wheel and the turning of my mind, I divided up my day. Even with a lot of tediousness to accomplish I made time for a meditation class with Guru Singh, whom I really enjoy. There is something about his eloquence and eldership that makes it really easy to drop into my own space.
He was talking a bit about the mudra (hand positioning) and the mantra — an idea you want to plant in your mind, which can sound crazy, until you realize companies spend millions a year to get inside your head, so it’s wise to plant some of your own seeds and even do a little spring cleaning in there, too.
In a storytelling metaphor, he mentioned the ribbit of a frog being the reverberation of confusion: “He was perfectly fine as a polywog, but then he started to grow these hands and feet, and the gills stopped working — the frog thinks he’s in trouble, but he is in transformation.”
I spontaneously burst into tears.
Everywhere I turn I have been hearing to let go and grow bigger. I see chaos and birth amid dissolution and destruction. I thought I was listening, but this simple mention of Nature’s cry’s of confusion, which also mimic the same human cries of confusion from our greatest prophets who didn’t know if they could step forwards, to the intrepid writer who is too afraid of their own brilliance to place the words on the page, apparently was the drop that spilled me over into release.
We have often been taught this doubt is a sign of danger, but sometimes, sometimes it is a sign of tremendous growth. I guess that is why it is so important to learn who you are and how to listen to yourself, so you can attempt to tell the difference between sinking and leaping.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life - Virgina Woolf
Had I bulldozed through my to-do list rather than the both-and of finishing my taxes and jumping into my own mindset, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this to you and taking another small step towards the unwritten.
Today, if this calls to you, take the time to follow the ribbits, tune into their cries of confusion and see if there is a cause for celebration.
Happy Spring,
Kate
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