Hi Golden One—
Let’s talk about regulated and dysregulated.
Are you already caught up on the simplicity of this evaluation and the absolute lack to judge or blame yourself if you have the space to assess clearly? What am I talking about? Being regulated versus dysregulated! It is the comparative difference of your nervous system being in balance or not. The difference between residing in fight or flight (sympathetic) versus rest and digest (parasympathetic, where creativity and solution thinking come from). It is the difference in being able to handle your day versus feeling if one person talks to you about one more thing you will fall over.
This meme encapsulates it beautifully:
—> If this meme speaks to you, can I ask a favor? Would you reply yes in the comments. I was recently asked who my ideal client is (I am in a gorgeous container with Wit & Wire on course creation, entering creativity from a different outreach perspective) and I realize I had slipped into a general idea of being helpful, which in and of itself is a good thing, yet falls short as a marketing plan.
It also doesn’t serve when it comes to boundaries. I can be helpful in a lot of places, but I cannot be everywhere or everything to—you know how that one goes.
Boundaries tip right into nervous system health. I hadn’t seen this so clearly until Emma and Eleanor of The Reconnected mentioned it. It was the domino tipping moment, and I realized that most (To be clear, I still think I am responsible for my behavior, this is a perspective however that includes hope and skillset as remedy rather than frustration and exhaustion, which take me nowhere) of the current frustrations I have are from a dysregulated nervous system, aka overdrive. Poor boundaries are gasoline on the fire of our nervous system until we shout (whether out loud or stuff it down silently into ourselves): I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
If you are thinking, duh, Kate. Well, let me tell you this was an a-ha for a type A redhead when it came to parenting.
The ground under our feet has shifted so dramatically that at times I was not even aware of how much the increased pressure and uncertainty was effecting daily life, top that with a layer (however true it is) that others have it worse…we are all left with not even giving ourselves the internal space to reorganize—until now.
What if we were able to recognize that we are out of body and moved our somatic selves in a way (like taking a deep breath, or wiggling your toes. The Reconnected recommended a deep inhale, waving your fingers, and letting out a sigh. We have renamed it magic hands in our household and my son does it now on his own) that brought us into the present moment, because everything we need is there. The peak and the valley of emotion fall away, if only for a breath, when we are in the present.
I am deeply fascinated by this as a parenting strategy. And as a human being strategy. I am familiar with it as healing principle, but you know, being human, I sometimes don’t cross-pollinate the wisdom immediately to all corridors of my life. Such as when we have an organized kitchen, and a wreck of a deck or garage.
Last month on my podcast I talked a good deal about mindfulness. It was a 4 part series to help get the fire of inspiration and focus going. You can listen to them on any podcast platform, or click here.
This month of March that is quickly approaching (January drags: February flies) I am looking towards meditation and movement. All of these things combined create momentum. Shame, guilt and frustration annihilate momentum.
Maybe the next time you are in a spin or a fright, check in on your nervous system and see if you can find any space. If not, stop. Maybe even sit down, but all the way down on the ground, get low. Or say this out loud: “My nervous system is pretty activated right now, and I am unable to clearly hear the voice of my intuition…so I can’t give you an answer right now. (Are you reading this aloud? I hope so) When clarity around this emerges, you’ll be the first to know.”
How did that feel?
Let me know and please do me a favor, if you gather a resource or a smile from anything you read here, please pass along to another that may benefit.
Happy Monday! Things can change if you believe it so. Listen to a song here.
Kate