I was clicking through House in Habit’s review of the Weinstein trial (Have you ever seen her artful bending of storytelling on Instagram? I love it) and clicking through a poll she had when my screen flickered
I hit the back button and was trying to answer a DM in my account and my screen went black and said I had been suspended—whatever that meant.
I kept clicking on House in Habit to finish her story through, fighting with this blackening screen when I stopped to read what it really kept trying to tell me: I was kicked out.
What? Kicked out for what?
Which, happened to be the exact same message my mother texted me back when I told her and she confirmed that my account was black.
I stood in the kitchen more flummoxed at what I had done because I had stopped posting my controversial feelings on IG and realized the world didn’t need my opinions but could be greatly served by the phenomenal dog videos and occasional inspirational promptings that I share.
“Maybe it was that birth video..” my mother texted.
A-ha! I thought. It was the birth video…and then my mind switched tracks right in mid-story construction and confirmation, it flashed on a prayer I had sent up that weekend about removing from me all that didn’t serve my newly determined focus.
I looked at the phone. I looked at my son, painting pumpkins for a garland. I looked at myself metaphorically and that I was literally neither here nor there. I wasn’t painting the pumpkins, I wasn’t on the created reality of IG, I was focusing on something that didn’t really exist. My mind sent a flare: Maybe I’d be sleeping better without a mind so full.
I recently heard (on IG) that if you go to sleep early and still wake up tired, then you are asking too much of your Spirit. You have too many problems for it to solve and not enough space for rejuvenation.
I deleted IG off my phone. I let go of being “kicked out” and changed it to being kicked in and sat down to paint pumpkins.
I realized without the silent throb of IG I barely picked up my phone that day. Hmm, I thought at the end of the day when I picked up my book at 8:30pm and settled down for reading with clear eyes, not ones muddled by those beloved animal videos. I mean, what harm can they cause?
I recently had a lot of dental work done. My dentist (whom I now adore) keeps reminding me that we are just catching up and that we are back on track, and all is well.
Teeth and digestion, nourishment and nutrition. What have I been asking my Spirit and system to digest? What is the sticky sweet nature of those innocent video, or consecutive scrolling?
Well, it’s 5:15 am and I am sitting in the quiet stillness of the morning writing you, and I haven't been here in a long while. I’ve been watching Emanual from Knucklebump farms (whom I adore), writing articles, doula’ing writers in Sit & Write, and catching up instead of diving in. Here is the point I want to belabor: I am not on Facebook, much to the chagrin of family and friends. I am not on TiKTok and I barely have apps on my phone — so as a cultural norm I am not imbibing that much social media, but for wherever my attention needs to be, it was too much.
I think back to the dental work (okay, it was scaling and the replacing of two crowns that I have had for forever), and the tremendous relief my body had from the return to balance. I am shocked honestly (call your dentist). I am shocked and intrigued and I will tell you why. The dental snafu happened in a perfect storm of new mothering, exhaustion, my dentist retiring, and dollop of 2020. I’ve thought about how all these incremental ingredients chiseled away my resolve and my perception of a necessary standard of health and vibrancy.
I have been reflecting on how I accommodated, and in turn my body accommodated as low level inflammation grew. I didn’t realize some of my body warning signs were about teeth and I did so many holistic choices on digestion and integration of other wayward things that when I dropped the level of what I deserved in vibrancy, I dropped awareness. I couldn’t hear and the lack of clear communication welcomed an erosion. Rather than judge my body’s responses, I have a newfound appreciation at how hard it worked to keep the inflammation at bay and what a relief we are both feeling at resolve.
That to say, my standard for vibrancy has been raised. Reestablished. We are now focused on Regeneration at every level (caps intentional at their Essence).
I made a promise to my body (I invite you to try it) to listen better. I thanked her for holding ground while I was preoccupied, and she told me how easy it is for us to relegate to less than we deserve. I listened. I am listening.
I realized that what I thought was a large snafu was a giant call for reclamation, and we have. I mean, let’s all get it on the whispers. Let’s make molehills into mountains for our health and reclaim that right of vibrancy and enjoyment in these beautiful bodies.
So maybe to another IG wasn’t a big deal— IG is not the point actually. I know that I will utilize it again, but right now there is a confluence to get my attention and I listened.
Without that blue light I can hear more, and I’m listening to the whispers that are now asking to put down the emotions that they have been holding at bay, from myself and from the collective, so they don’t have to push through the bones and the skin anymore.
So the break-up with IG has been a bit of a mending for me.
There’s more to share. See you back here soon,
Kate
P.s
Apparently there was a he IG glitch earlier this week and that is the reason that I was bumped. There is a space however between mundane and magic; they co-exist— it’s all available to you. What are messing are you focusing on? The ones inside or out?
P.p.s
Tune in for more of these ideas here: