Turns out I work really hard to avoid dragons. I thought I slayed them, but I realize that I work harder to outwit them, and then when they inevitably appear — I take it personal. I should have seen this coming —- or some such weighty nonsense.
The first hint I had of this was when I heard this Waldorf verse, which I might have shared here before:
A Verse for Our Time
We must eradicate from the soul
All fear and terror of what comes towards man out of the future.
We must acquire serenity
In all feelings and sensations about the future.
We must look forward with absolute equanimity
To everything that may come.
And we must think only that whatever comes
Is given to us by a world-directive full of wisdom.
Wait - what? [this is what I was thinking, sitting in the parent room as the gentle white-haired soul, read this aloud to us]. Everything that comes is NOT a directive of wisdom….
And I heard myself. I heard the fear. The genesis of the outwitting. The idea that I could stay ahead of the bad. What is your mechanism? We all have one.
I’d love to tell you I figured it all out in that moment, but that was just the crack of the shell. The rest of the verse follows:
It is part of what we must learn in this age,
Namely, to live out of pure trust,
Without any security in existence.
Trust in the ever present help
Of the spiritual world.
Oh, I remember thinking. That is true. That is what I have been committed to building into my life, and now I see where I was conditional in my trust. Trust the good; outwit the bad.
And here is the end of the verse:
Truly, nothing else will do
If our courage is not to fail us.
And let us seek the awakening from within ourselves
Every morning and every evening. – Rudolph Steiner
Nothing else will do.
So this image here is of St. Michael banishing the Dragon.
I have heard there are more than one renditions of the story. In talking with a Waldorf educator, as my memory recalls, she spoke about the choice to tell the ending where Michael kills the dragon vs. Michael banishes the dragon. Because as much as we like to cut out and end what we don’t prefer, we all need to learn to hold our space and banish that which seeks to destroy the beauty we have built. To be steadfast and less attractive to the dragon, and allow what is to be because that is the world we live in. A life of constant outwitting becomes tiresome, but a life cultivating a will of courage can grow stronger in each storm and perhaps even have an overflow to show another how to stand in their own stead as well.
See there was a magical garden created for the Children, and it was so beautiful, and so lovely with so much fruit, and streams to play in that the Dragon was curious, and he was jealous (perhaps my word here), and his hunger, actual and emotional, felt it could only be slated by destroying. So he came to take over the Garden of Light that was given to the children, and Michael came with his sword of light and banishes the dragon. He is thwarted, and Michael gives each of the children their own sword of light and a missive:
“Brave and true I will be. Each good deed sets me free. Each kind word makes me strong. I will fight for the right. I will conquer the wrong.”
In other words — it doesn’t make sense to just stay super vigilant, and maybe have fun, but not too much fun so the dragons may not notice us. That makes for a life half lived, but if we lean into Trust in the ever present help of the spiritual world and eradicating from the soul All fear and terror of what comes towards man out of the future.
We must acquire serenity In all feelings and sensations about the future.
We must look forward with absolute equanimity —To everything that may come.
We cultivate an inner peace that provides us possibilities. We can enjoy the energy that we (or I) would have defused by worrying or managing ourselves over living in trust. I think one of the first steps of this is unloading some of the burden and making space for the golden light within to shine again. This is also the season we are turning toward as the weather in the northern hemisphere quickens, and we draw inward for warmth.
How? It’s always the next question. What were your thoughts? Body movement, meditation, journaling out your thoughts, reclaiming your morning, reading a book of inspiration over scrolling desperation, watching where the wind blows, speaking kindly of your Self?
Yes. I’d agree with all of those.
There will always be dragons. Take them as a sign that the beauty you are creating is making the necessary waves in a world hungry for what you have to offer.
Happy Harvest my Friend,
Kate
p.s. I love writing here and am aiming to keep most posts free (Write the Year is Creative Writing Contemplation as a thank you for paid subscribers), and I would deeply appreciate you becoming a free or paid subscriber, purchasing my book of inspiring stories, or sharing The Golden Thread with your community to keep this space alive. Thank you!
P.P.S.
A friend once said, “I think you are supposed to help mothers.”
“What?” I said. “I don’t know what I am doing!”
“Maybe, but I think you’re doing it and that is why you’d be good at it —you’re honest.”
That was 2 years ago. Did I mention that I was a Fire Dragon in the Chinese constellation? We are great at inspiring and are steadfast in our honesty (perhaps to a fault at times) and we can’t help but see what we see. That said, Sit In Your Center is open for Mothers this October. We are going all in on October 14th and creating a stress-less space by staying in the journey through Winter Solstice December 21st. This is the first time the class will be taught this way, and we for sure will be leading each other home. I haven’t even updated the site, I am working on listening to the cadence of now, email me with questions. I just know there is not one mother’s eyes that I have looked into in the past three years that has not come upon a battle. So I am here with a hopefulness that in gathering and bring us back to the Essence of Mother and our own Selves, we can plant the seeds that will fruit and feed our children, by first reclaiming peace and space within Join us here.